He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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