I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
as a side note pls kill me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
