So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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