These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
