i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She announced her abortion via fbk
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
