Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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