im six kinds of drunk right now
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
