So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
