you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
