I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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