you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
