life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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