You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
