From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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