Kiss
Puke
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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