did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
