I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
