the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Damn victory sex feels great
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
