It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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