Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
