but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
