My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
