I need help removing her.
it hurts more in the daytime
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
