Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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