New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
