Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
