OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize