Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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