naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
