Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
