I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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