YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
