I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
