dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
