there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Success! We fucked roommates!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize