drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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