dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize