I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Panties = found
Randomize
