Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
