She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
