Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Only a mothe r could love this liver
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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