Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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