Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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