He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
