after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
