I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
