I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize