Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
