apparently the secret to your success is patron
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The air taste purple.
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