all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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