PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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