"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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