I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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