you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she peed on how many people?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
