hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
