But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
