So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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