what day is it and did you see me today?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
