if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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