Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
