i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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