I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
