accomplished twins. life is a go
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
