she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
