like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
