sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
