I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
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