Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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